WHAT ONCE WAS IS NO MORE

I FIND THAT THE ONE CONSTATN IN MY LIFE IS PEOPLE COMING AND GOING I HAVE SEEN SO MANY PEOPLE WALK INTO MY LIFE AND THEN JUST DISAPPEAR OUT OF MY LIFE I FEEL AS IF I AM SOME SORT OF DEFFECTIVE WHY CANT PEOPLE STAY WHY DO THEY LEAVE ? I WILL NEVER KNOW WELL MY RECENT LOSS IS NOT A DEATH BUT I GUESS THEY JUST ERASE ME FROM THERE MEMORY ! AND IT WAS NOT JUST SOMEONE THAT I COULD FORGET ABOUT IS MY OWN FAMILY ALL BECAUSE OF ONE BOY ! I HAVE LOST MY AUNT & COUSINS AND MY BEST FRIEND ALSO ! I GUESS IT JUST REALLY SUCKS THAT THIS HAD TO HAPPEN THE ONE THAT I THOUGT I COULD ALWAYS RELY ON AND CRY WITH WILL BE THERE NO MORE AND I WILL ONCE AGAIN LEFT IN MY DARK ABYSS TO SUFFER ALONE ITS AS IF I AM ALMOST OUT OF THIS ABYSS AND I FALL BACK TO THE BOTTOM AND I HAVE TO START AGAIN WITH SOMEONE NEW LEARN TO TRUST AGAIN ONLY TO BE PUSHED OVER AND OVER AGAIN
BUT I HAVE LEARNED NOW THAT MY TRUE FRIENDS HAVE BEEN THERE THROUGH IT ALL THEY HAVE SEEN THE BEST AND THE VER WORST OF ME !!! SO FOR THAT I THANK THEM FOR HELPING ME ! MAYBE ONE DAY THEY CAN FINALLY SET ME FREE OF BEING THE KEEPER THE WARDEN OF THIS DEEP DARK ABYSS

just another day in my dark city

well my life as i know it is very dark every now and then the sun sun will shed some daylight into my dark gloomy abyss but if to much sunlight should shed itself upon me there is always a dark cloud to follow immediately. I wish for one day i could have sunlight all day sunlight meaning a happy day a glorious day but so far in my life there has never been a day like that its as if i live in a land of night and to have sun is to have a solar eclipse once you miss it well damn i guess you miss it ! Well i have always lived i guess you can say a roller coaster it has had its ups but mostly downs a lot of loops and downward spirals i would like to say i am happy but sometimes i find myself angry and depressed i have had some bad years bad things happen to me by bad people ! I think alot of that has affected me in so many ways good and bad and i try to make the best of it all but for now i strive to survive in this dark and infinite abyss !!!!